7 reasons not to visit Burton Bradstock this Summer
Please do not come to Graston Copse in Burton Bradstock this Summer. We’re begging you. Seriously, there are plenty of average places out there, with none of this nonsense. Save yourself the hassle and book somewhere else – anywhere else!
The village is disgustingly pretty
You’ll be forced to walk past rose-covered thatched cottages, a postcard-perfect church and a proper village shop.
Who wants that level of charm ruining their holiday?!
Far too much peace & quiet
In Burton Bradstock, you might actually hear birdsong or the flow of the River Bride, instead of traffic or screaming kids.
Some people have been known to accidentally relax so hard, they forget what day it is – nightmare!
The night sky is too dark
Clear nights here are just silly – the Milky Way puts on a show like it’s trying too hard.
You might waste hours staring upwards instead of doom-scrolling on your phone. Appalling behaviour.
Hive Beach will ruin all other beaches
Just a gentle riverside stroll away you’ll find golden cliffs, rolling waves and one of the finest stretches of the Jurassic Coast. People have been spotted swimming, fossil hunting, eating at the award-winning Hive Beach Cafe or even paragliding.
Utterly unacceptable if you want to keep your standards low.
Too many lovely walks
Miles of peaceful countryside paths, riverside ambles along the River Bride and clifftop adventures with views across 99 miles of coastline.
You risk coming home fitter and happier. Think of the damage to your “I only holiday to lie down” reputation.
There are proper pubs and cute attractions
The Three Horseshoes has a sunny garden and dangerously good food. Nearby you’ve got the like of Litton Lakes, Modbury Farm Shop and Vurlands Animal Farm.
How are you supposed to stay cynical in these conditions?
You might never want to leave
That’s the real danger.
One visit and you’ll start daydreaming about coming back every weekend or buying a holiday home with us. Many have fallen victim to the “just one more weekend” syndrome.
Don’t say we didn’t warn you!
What now?
So yeah, it’s probably best if you just ignore this and book somewhere else.
Or if you’re the reckless type who secretly enjoys beautiful views, a chocolate box village and proper relaxation, we guess you could book with us.
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